My darling Sara,
This is a tough letter to write. You're right; I DON'T know Eddie as well as you do. All I can do is offer you insight.
You stated several weeks ago his main goal in life was to 'get high and stay high'. Do you really want your child to be around that sort of person?
I applaud you standing up for yourself and the little one by insisting he not smoke anything in your presence. I also applaud you for pointing out flaws in his 'rationality' toward who will baby-sit the child while you're in school or working. To ensure a safe environment, I would hope you never leave your child unsupervised while in Eddie's care or at his house. I bring to the table 20 years of (safe) child-rearing, not to mention I've been taking care of children since age 12. Do the math; that is 34 years of experience.
Yes, your father is still angry with you, but that's to be expected. You have a choice to make: Leave the child with admitted pot-smokers and unstable relationships, or grandparents who have been married for over 20 years and provide a safe haven for half the neighborhood. I think the choice is obvious.
One of these days, most likely in January or February, we will HAVE to sit down with Eddie and Sandy to discuss financial arrangements. I don't care if all he can contribute is a sack of diapers or box of baby wipes, but he will contribute SOMETHING every week.
I've been approached about people wanting to throw you a baby shower next spring. I will be more than happy to include Sandy, Dawn, Hannah, and whoever else in Eddie's family in the plans.
Remember I love you and I'm praying for you constantly.