Dearest Alex,
It's been a rough 3 months for you....your mom was pregnant, then the ultrasound showed it wasn't viable, so she had to suffer a miscarriage. She's getting married today to Angelo ??? (I'll change this later), whom she works with at Perdue. He's Haitian, seems to love your mommy very much (I know she loves him-more on this later), and seems to treat her well.
Let's talk about YOU for a moment. Your attitude at school and at home is concerning; your rudeness and unfiltered comments toward me and your teacher indicates to me (I took many Child Psychology classes in college, so I think I know what I'm talking about) you are crying out for attention.
I know Mommy sleeps until noon, and lately she's been spending her weekend with Angelo in Washington. There's been talk of moving to Lafayette in June, after school is over for the year, and you'll be able to see Aunt Reagan and Grandma Sally more often. Papa has told me you're not happy about these plans. It seems as if everyone is making decisions for you without your input. In the first place, you're only 9, so Mommy feels as if she's doing this FOR you, not TO you. In the second place, I understand your rebellion against this, since I feel yes, your input should have been taken into consideration about both who Mommy marries and where you're going to live.
We had to do this to your mom when she was 12; we had to pack up at a moment's notice and move down here, ignoring her pleas to live with one of her friends. In hindsight, was that the right decision? I don't know. She spiraled downward into depression for a couple of years. But her situation is different, since the only people she knew in this town was your Papa's family, who were not that kind. You are moving to my hometown, where I have friends with grandchildren your age, and your beloved Auntie Reagan and Grandma Sally, who love you very much and will do almost anything for you, to ease the transition.
I don't want to see you turn into a rebellious pre-teen. I want the sweet Alex we've known for the past 9 years, the helpful and loving child, not this stranger who rebuffs affection and calls me a Karen when I try to correct you. I am not your mother; I'm your grandma, and there is a different set of rules.
I love you very much, and this rebellious attitude hurts me. I wish you would talk to me, but you're very much like your mom and me, in that we hold our feelings close, and shut down, instead of talking to someone. I've gotten better at letting people in over the years, and I can only pray you and your mom will do the same. It's not easy, believe me. I don't think you've gone through the bullying that's occurred to your mom or the issues I faced beginning in the 4th-9th grades. My faith in God got me through those horrible years; however, your mom shunned the church, and has refused to take you. Your Papa hasn't been very encouraging, either. I've tried.
Back to what's happening today: Your mom told me the minute she touched Angelo, something told her, 'this is my man'. That's called a 'soul mate', sweetie, and I hope it happens to you in another 10-15 years. I wasn't able to be more involved with mine, due to poor choices on my part, but that's LIFE. Your mom is lucky....and we certainly hope it proves so. Some people find their soul mate early; others find it later.
As to your Papa....he is a racist man. He's refusing to even meet Angelo and get to know him, based solely on his skin color and ethnicity. I hope his comments haven't confused you or influenced your opinion.
Again, I love you dearly, and will always be a phone call away, or even a room away, when and if you need me.
Love,
Grandma
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO
