Friday, November 25, 2011

Child's Best Interests

My darling Sara,
This is a tough letter to write.  You're right; I DON'T know Eddie as well as you do.  All I can do is offer you insight.

You stated several weeks ago his main goal in life was to 'get high and stay high'.  Do you really want your child to be around that sort of person?

I applaud you standing up for yourself and the little one by insisting he not smoke anything in your presence.  I also applaud you for pointing out flaws in his 'rationality' toward who will baby-sit the child while you're in school or working.  To ensure a safe environment, I would hope you never leave your child unsupervised while in Eddie's care or at his house.  I bring to the table 20 years of (safe) child-rearing, not to mention I've been taking care of children since age 12.  Do the math; that is 34 years of experience.

Yes, your father is still angry with you, but that's to be expected.  You have a choice to make:  Leave the child with admitted pot-smokers and unstable relationships, or grandparents who have been married for over 20 years and provide a safe haven for half the neighborhood.  I think the choice is obvious.

One of these days, most likely in January or February, we will HAVE to sit down with Eddie and Sandy to discuss financial arrangements.  I don't care if all he can contribute is a sack of diapers or box of baby wipes, but he will contribute SOMETHING every week.

I've been approached about people wanting to throw you a baby shower next spring.  I will be more than happy to include Sandy, Dawn, Hannah, and whoever else in Eddie's family in the plans.

Remember I love you and I'm praying for you constantly.


Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Week #8

My darling Sara,
You're experiencing your first morning sickness.  Welcome to the 2nd sign of pregnancy!  So far, you've taken one of your nausea pills and consuming PopTarts in the morning.  I remember having to eat dry toast or crackers before getting out of bed.  I don't think you've actually gotten sick; just experienced that queasy feeling.

When I was first pregnant with Kyle, I learned I had to eat within two hours of getting hungry.  You've all heard me tell the story of when Uncle Craig and Aunt Bev took me to the Spaghetti Factory and Craig took too long to get me there.  In some ways, I hope you are spared that indignity; other times I want you to suffer as a reminder.  Yes, I'm still upset, but you're my baby girl.

Your dad would fix me toast in the morning before he left, and I remember a particular instance when I waited too long to eat it:  Remember our cat Tag?  He happened to be sleeping on the back of the toilet and pushed the toilet seat down on my head.  I guess he didn't want to look at it!

When I was carrying you, your dad was still working and was often gone before Kyle or I awoke.  Kyle used to go into the bathroom with me and pass me toilet paper when it was all over.

And you remember the nausea I had with Will at all hours of the day, as we traveled to White Rock, Yellowstone, and Cody!

Yes, the next several weeks will not be fun.   And that is why when I wake you up in the mornings, I ask if you need anything.

And I know your brand new jeans are getting tight.  I will go downstairs and try to locate the maternity pants I saved.  Hopefully you'll be able to fit into them; otherwise, we'll have to piss off your father and go on another shopping trip.


Friday, November 4, 2011

To My Daughter

My darling Sara,
We've just discovered in the past week you're about to become a mother.  It's taken me a week of emotion, calming your father down, and telling certain family members and friends about your condition.  You know this is a shock; you're only 17; a junior in HS; and the father of your baby is not the ideal man we thought you would fall in love with.  But this is your choice, so we must respect it and go on.

I took you for your first OB/GYN appointment yesterday, and while I'm not thrilled with your doctor's bedside manner, he is the only OB in the area who would take your Medicaid status.  I wish we lived closer to Dr. Steve, who, as you know, delivered caught you.  I watched you endure your first adult female exam and remind you again, welcome to Responsible Adulthood.  I love you and want you to have a healthy pregnancy.

I'm creating this blog so I can write down my thoughts of becoming a grandmother next June 11th (this date may change, but for now it is the date given) and any pearls of wisdom I choose to pass along to our 1st grandchild.  If you don't like it, tough.  I'm a writer and rather do this in longhand where my handwriting may not be readable, I'm choosing this forum, so it may be preserved.

You're not having any nausea yet; so far the only thing which has changed has been your weight (7lbs gained last week, 10lbs lost this week, I think???) and the fact your baby did not like the chocolate candy for Halloween.

You and Eddie have discussed names:  Anthony Edward and Alexandria Nicole.  Both are good choices.  As you know, your younger brother was called 'Peanut' from the time we discovered he was in utero, and 'Jessica' up until he arrived as a 'William'.  At least my instincts were on target with you and Kyle!

I won't post this every day; only when I feel the need to tell you or the baby something.  Hopefully one day, the four of us can sit down and discuss everything calmly, although I seriously believe the four will be you, Eddie, Sandy, and myself.  I don't see your dad and Eddie being in the same room together.

I will make an appointment to start you on WIC.  It will help with your nutritional needs.  As I told you last week, healthy body, healthy baby.  And these first few weeks are critical to the baby's development.

Love and prayers,