7th Grade P-T Conference

 Dearest Alex

Feel free to skip this letter if it dredges up too many bad memories, but your grandma is a writer who needs to get this off her chest.

First of all, I love you dearly. Never forget that.

I would be remiss if I didn't express my sorrow and disappointment when I learned you had not only refused to do your school assignments, but had also been outright defiant to your teachers.

One of them, I understand; she didn't come across as very nice to you.  But still, that does not give you the right to be rude to her in front of everyone else.  If you have a problem with your teacher, you take it up with the counselor, the Dean (Mr. Pfoff), or your mother, or even us.  I was happy you had talked with your other teacher (I'm not sure what subject she teaches-Language arts, maybe?) about doing better than 14% of your work.

I sincerely want you to succeed, sweetheart, and do well in school. I know I'm not around a lot; you're gone before I get up and in bed when I get home from work, but I'm always available if you want to text me.

It breaks my heart when I hear reports of you being defiant.  I was encouraged when your Math teacher said you seemed happy in her class, and that if you wanted to use her room during Study Hall to do your work or get help, she would be willing to assist you.

Believe me when I say I understand your teenage mind (a little bit of it, anyway!)  When I was your age (now don't roll your eyes!) I thought I was the center of the universe, and nobody could possibly understand what I was going through.  I think your mother felt the same way; all three of us shut down when confronted. You come by that honestly.

I didn't handle my bullying situation very well, and your mother didn't handle her first two years at Clark very well either.  In hindsight, I should have allowed her to stay home and be homeschooled. But I didn't, and here we are; patterns being repeated.  I didn't want to talk about what was happening; I was positive I've be blamed for the downfall of a popular athlete. I'm not entirely sure what was going on with your mother; she still hasn't spoken about it.

But you can break that cycle, sweetie.  Things have changed when talking to someone is no longer a stigma. You have people in your corner; me, your mom, Mrs. Vickers.

You have a family who loves you and wants to see you succeed.  Just get through this painful period and see it as a polishing moment.  To refine a precious resource, you have to peel/grind/scrape off the dead layers in order to see the shining diamond or gold inside.

Unfortunately, this happens during the moment when hormones are raging and emotions are confusing.

Love,

Grandma

Mommy's Getting Married!

 Dearest Alex,

It's been a rough 3 months for you....your mom was pregnant, then the ultrasound showed it wasn't viable, so she had to suffer a miscarriage. She's getting married today to Angelo Phanord, whom she works with at Perdue.  He's Haitian, seems to love your mommy very much (I know she loves him-more on this later), and seems to treat her well.

Let's talk about YOU for a moment.  Your attitude at school and at home is concerning; your rudeness and unfiltered comments toward me and your teacher indicates to me (I took many Child Psychology classes in college, so I think I know what I'm talking about) you are crying out for attention.

I know Mommy sleeps until noon, and lately she's been spending her weekend with Angelo in Washington. There's been talk of moving to Lafayette in June, after school is over for the year, and you'll be able to see Aunt Reagan and Grandma Sally more often.  Papa has told me you're not happy about these plans.  It seems as if everyone is making decisions for you without your input.  In the first place, you're only 9, so Mommy feels as if she's doing this FOR you, not TO you. In the second place, I understand your rebellion against this, since I feel yes, your input should have been taken into consideration about both who Mommy marries and where you're going to live.

We had to do this to your mom when she was 12; we had to pack up at a moment's notice and move down here, ignoring her pleas to live with one of her friends.  In hindsight, was that the right decision?  I don't know.  She spiraled downward into depression for a couple of years.  But her situation is different, since the only people she knew in this town was your Papa's family, who were not that kind.  You are moving to my hometown, where I have friends with grandchildren your age, and your beloved Auntie Reagan and Grandma Sally, who love you very much and will do almost anything for you, to ease the transition.

I don't want to see you turn into a rebellious pre-teen.  I want the sweet Alex we've known for the past 9 years, the helpful and loving child, not this stranger who rebuffs affection and calls me a Karen when I try to correct you.  I am not your mother; I'm your grandma, and there is a different set of rules.

I love you very much, and this rebellious attitude hurts me.  I wish you would talk to me, but you're very much like your mom and me, in that we hold our feelings close, and shut down, instead of talking to someone.  I've gotten better at letting people in over the years, and I can only pray you and your mom will do the same.  It's not easy, believe me.  I don't think you've gone through the bullying that's occurred to your mom or the issues I faced beginning in the 4th-9th grades.  My faith in God got me through those horrible years; however, your mom shunned the church, and has refused to take you.  Your Papa hasn't been very encouraging, either.  I've tried.

Back to what's happening today:  Your mom told me the minute she touched Angelo, something told her, 'this is my man'.  That's called a 'soul mate', sweetie, and I hope it happens to you in another 10-15 years.  I wasn't able to be more involved with mine, due to poor choices on my part, but that's LIFE.  Your mom is lucky....and we certainly hope it proves so.  Some people find their soul mate early; others find it later.  

As to your Papa....he is a racist man.  He's refusing to even meet Angelo and get to know him, based solely on his skin color and ethnicity.  I hope his comments haven't confused you or influenced your opinion.

Again, I love you dearly, and will always be a phone call away, or even a room away, when and if you need me.

Love,

Grandma

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

You're Now A 3rd Grader!

 Dear Alex,

You've had quite a summer!  Mommy's been home, you were a flower girl in Uncle Kyle and Aunt Jeanna's wedding, and you were taught the basics of bouncing on a trampoline at cousin Phoenix's 2nd birthday party:)

School has started, and your teacher is Miss Eck, whom you know from the playground last year.

Grandma is still working nearly full-time at Lowe's, and am getting ready to home school Uncle Will.  Uncle Kyle and Aunt Jeanna are in the process of moving into their new house in Freelandville, and Mommy is making plans to return to work by the end of the month.

Grandma and Papa are heading to Las Vegas in a few days, to see Papa's friends Randy and Shantel.  We're leaving on the 14th and returning sometime after the 23rd.

Grandma Sally is still confined to the retirement facility, but she loves to chat with you on the phone whenever she calls or I call her.  She loves you very much and wishes you could be allowed to see her.  When this Covid-19 nightmare is over and we get back to normal, you'll be able to hug and kiss her again.

The Watermelon Festival was this past weekend, and you enjoyed hanging out in Grandma's booth and eating watermelon, corn dogs, ice cream, and drinking lemonade.  You were also thrilled to see a few friends dance on stage, and to buy a mermaid tail from one of the vendors.

I'll try to write again next month, sweetie!

Lots of love,

Grandma

The New 'Normal'

Dear Alex,
You just finished 2nd grade, and in a strange way.  The country has been sidelined with the Corona/Covid-19 virus which closed schools in March, and shortened the school year by a week.  You and Mommy have been working on your weekly assignment packets, and you seemed to enjoy working on your research paper on Tigers.

I know it's been tough on you, because you can't see your friends from school, but you've made friends with the girls across the street and around the corner, and have been over to play with them on a semi-regular basis.

You mastered riding your two-wheeled bicycle last month, and enjoy going over to the George Rogers Clark Memorial parking lot to ride around, without having the fear of traffic:)

With Mommy at home, due to the shut down, you've had her all to yourself, and have been shopping, getting fast-food delivered or picked up, and playing with the dogs.

Grandma has been working 30-40 a week, so you haven't seen me a great deal, but I'm thrilled you're not shunning hugs or kisses anymore.  Your birthday is coming up and I'm hoping we'll be able to take you to Brown County again, to ride the horses.

Uncle Kyle's wedding is coming up at the end of June (postponed from May 16th due to the Shelter In Place directive), and you're looking forward to being the Flower Girl.

I forgot to write this past winter, and I'm sorry.  We were all devastated by the loss of Papa Mike November 20th, 2019.  You were his joy, and the two of you had a special relationship.  Within four months, we had Grandma Sally moved into Cumberland Point Assisted Living, and put the house up for sale.  As of this date, we're still waiting for repairs to be made, so it can pass the new buyers' inspection, and close on the sale.

I brought home several marble tables and the low coffee table, which you have enjoyed playing with, and placing your Leggos on.  You also love Grandma's desk, with the various cubby holes and extra drawers, and have claimed 'your' drawers on the right.

You miss Grandma Sally, but as soon as the lock down is lifted, we will go to Lafayette and take her to a steak restaurant, because she's getting tired of chicken. and more importantly, she misses you too!

Til next time....
Love,
Grandma

Merry Christmas!

Dear Alex,

Merry Christmas!

We took you to see Santa earlier this month, and you were so excited to go see him!  But when it was your turn, you stood beside him with your hands covering your mouth, and whispered in his ear that you wanted some 'LOL Surprise Dolls'.  Later, you worked up the courage to tell him, 'Mommy's on the Naughty  List', which he was very surprised to hear!  The photographer did her best, and sent Mommy the best shot of you and Santa.

Then we went to see the Christmas lights at Oubache Trails park, which you were excited about all the new ones.  You thanked the volunteer who gave you a candy cane and wished him a Merry Christmas, and ate it while we drove to see the lights down at south 15th st.

Christmas Eve, Uncle Kyle and Aunt Jeanna came over to spend the afternoon, and you were thrilled with your presents:  A toy Jeep and toy horses.  Later, you ate dinner with them while Grandma was singing at the 6pm Christmas Eve service.  After dinner, you watched as we played Cards Against Humanity until Mommy put you to bed.

Christmas morning, you excitedly tore the wrapping off all your gifts:  Books, a Fingerling, candy in your stocking, and of course, your beloved LOL Surprise Dolls!

I forgot to mention, you are now an older sister to Alyanna, who arrived the day before Thanksgiving to your daddy and Crystal, who were married (briefly) on the Monday before.  However, as I write this, they have separated, and I do not know if you'll ever see Alyanna again.  Things are just too unstable over there.  Update:  2/9/19:  I don't know if I should even put this here, sweetie.....but we found out Baby Aly isn't even your sister.  C's ex-boyfriend had a DNA test run, and she's his child.  You probably won't even ever see her again.

Your daddy's mom, whom you call 'MeeMaw', has been in and out of the hospital this past month, in poor health.  We don't know all the details, but you were able to visit her.

Some rather unpleasant things have happened as well, and though I'm hesitant to write it, I can always go back in and edit this before I give you the website.

CPS visited you at school, and I'm told you informed her 'Daddy and MeeMaw had a fight b/c she wasn't picking the seeds out of the weed'.  The social worker seemed happy with the fact our kitchen is stocked with plenty of food; none of us smoke or do drugs; you have a safe place to live with plenty of people who love you.

She was first at Daddy's, who, I am told, was instructed to get a drug test.

We also informed her of your Aunt Hannah, who's twelve, and is making some questionable choices, in her quest for a Daddy figure.

Good news for your Uncle Brent; he seems to be turning his life around.  Time will tell.

Your daddy said he checked himself into the psych ward for a few days, however, your mother doubts this.  Some texts were sent, claiming he was going to end his life, then a few days later, Crystal claimed SHE tried to do the same, which earned her a trip to the psych ward the following week.

The only thing this caused is for Mommy to decide you were no longer allowed to spend the weekends at Daddy's.  He has come to see you; however the 1st time, he failed to show up; the 2nd, he spent more time on his phone than with you; he didn't even show up for Christmas.

As I type this, I have no idea if you'll even see him before you return to school

You WERE able to spend time with your Grandma Sally and Papa Mike on Dec 16th, when Grandma Sally was moved to Columbian Point Rehab facility.  Grandma Sally was taken to the hospital on the 9th, then moved on the 14th.  Grandma went up for a week to help take care of them.

You've had a few bouts of illness this Christmas vacation:  Fever, cold, tummy flu.  Breathing treatments in the mornings help your cough.

Love you bunches!
Grandma

1st Day of 1st Grade!

Dearest Alex,
You began school on Aug 9th, and since Vigo Elementary is under renovation, your class is at Washington Christian Center over by Gregg Park. 

Mommy is trying to instill the same homework ethic she and Uncle Kyle had, to do homework right after school, and you've been a little resistant.  But it has paid off:  You scored 100% on your 1st spelling test last week!  Accellerated Reading (AR) has begun, so you and Mommy read together.

Grandma has been gone nearly all summer, helping take care of Great-Grandma Sally, who fell June 1st.  She's getting better, but still having issues walking.  You had a wonderful weekend with her during the Watermelon Festival, and playing in the pool at the hotel

Mommy has been suspended from Perdue, and she's trying to get a Peer Review scheduled.

Daddy and Crystal have moved to Autumn Ridge; your cat Angel fathered kittens; and Daddy now works for another company.

That's all for now sweetheart:)

Love and kisses,
Grandma

You're Now Six Years Old!

My darling Alex,
It's been another amazing year, watching you grow and develop!  You turned six years old yesterday, and wore your beautiful blue and white Easter dress all day, with the exception of when Papa made chili for lunch (per your request, ha ha!).

Mommy took the day off so she could spend it with you, and helped with your dinner celebration.  Papa grilled pork chops; Mommy and Uncle Kyle fixed the vegetables.  Jeanna and Kyle gave you $6; Papa and I gave you $6 plus two books, The Monster At The End Of This Book and Another Monster At The End Of This Book.  You were happier with the cash, ha ha!  Mommy gave you a Baby Alive, which cries real tears; her nose lights up when she 'sneezes'; she talks about her heartbeat.  You also got new black tennis shoes.

We sang you Happy Birthday, then you blew out the candles on your green and blue Trolls ice cream cake from DQ, which you picked out.

You can somewhat do the splits, and you're trying desperately to learn how to do a cartwheel:)  You've almost mastered a round-off, but your legs are still bent.  I'm thinking we maybe need to get you into gymnastics; however, we've been 'thinking' this since you were two!  We have a joke that Cirq Du Solei could use you when you get older, you're so limber!

Next year, you will be at Washington Christian Center, since Vigo will be undergoing renovations.  You had a wonderful year in kindergarten, and soon you will be in 1st grade:)

You're growing taller; Mommy took you over to the Memorial last night and you can no longer pass under the, gate w/o hitting your head.  Your favorite pink PJ pants are now above your knees, and you weigh 49 pounds.  Daddy came over to see you yesterday, and you enjoyed seeing him.

Last weekend, we took you to Brown County State park to ride the horses, and were thrilled to learn that NEXT year, you'll be able to ride the trail horses with Mommy, Uncle Kyle, and Uncle Will:)  While Mommy, Kyle, Will, and Jeanna were on the trail, you and your friend Izzy played on the dirt pile near the pony corral, and dug up worms.  Afterward, we all went back to Bloomington and ate at Cracker Barrel before heading home.

Grandma Sally and Papa Mike weren't able to come this year, since Grandma Sally fell last week, and is having trouble walking.  She's getting stronger, and enjoyed talking to you on the phone yesterday.

Forgot to update some things:
-Ariel ended up spending only one week of school here before returning home.  One day when you're older, we'll tell you about it.  In the meantime, she's expecting a baby July 16th, a boy named Phoenix.

-Daddy is now working at Wendy's.

-Mommy is now in a Lead position at Perdue Turkey plant in Washington, and works 2-10pm.

Love you bunches, sweetheart:)  I'll try to write again soon.

Love,
Grandma